Conversation with a 3 Year Old

Witten: Mommy, I want to pliers you shirt.
Me: You want to use pliers on my shirt?
Witten: Yes.
Me: Why?
Witten: I'm trying to make it red.
Me: Honey, I don't think pliers are going to make it red.
Witten: Ok.  Maybe a hammer!

Commence running screaming through the house.  I'm wearing the shirt that he wants to turn red.